A Peculiar Version of Friendly Fire
A Peculiar Version of Friendly Fire: Female Troops Face Double Danger
Shortly after arriving in Iraq in April 2003, Sergeant Kelly Dougherty was stunned to find herself in an argument with her squad leader about pornography. She’d just walked into the common tent shared by her ten-member military police squad to find two lower-ranking guys watching porn, which is against the rules but ubiquitous in Iraq. She told them she didn’t want to see any of it. One of them apologized, but her squad leader overheard the exchange and stepped in.
“He wanted to argue with me, so I was forced to defend why I didn’t want them looking at women engaged in acts of sex when I’m in the tent,” Dougherty says.
If she hoped for help from the platoon sergeant in charge of her squad, she was soon disappointed. He watched porn in the tent, too.
I've been waiting for this article to come out for months because the author emailed me last year and asked me questions about sexual harassment and being a female in the military. I guess she decided she didn't need my quotes and the topics we ended up talking about didn't make an appearance in the finished article. Maybe there's another one coming...
I know there is way too much sexual harassment and assault in the military but this Sgt Dougherty seems excessively afraid to me:
From the moment she set foot in Kuwait, where she and other women were warned never to walk to the showers alone, she had the uneasy feeling that she wasn’t safe among her fellow soldiers...At night, Dougherty found the camp an unnerving place. To get to the showers or the telephone, she walked past “row upon row of tents full of people you didn’t know.”
It doesn't say what base she was on in Kuwait, but if it was anything like the one I stayed on, I have to wonder if she was being a little overly paranoid. Yes, you had to walk around outside at night to go pee and shower, but the bathroom facilities weren't out in some isolated location. They were surrounded by structures stuffed full of people. If I had run into trouble and screamed bloody murder, I was pretty confident SOMEBODY would have stuck their head outside to see what was going on.
And I'm sorry she felt afraid, but life in general leads you past rows and rows of buildings full of people you don't know. Is she scared to walk down a city streets at home? Maybe so, but most women are attacked by people they KNOW, not buildings full of strangers.
The author tells the stories of several female soldiers and I couldn't help but wonder where their weapons were during their attacks. If some guy tried to mess with me like that I like to think I would have been reaching for my pistol, and at the very least threatened to whack him on the head with it if he touched me again.
“There’s huge pressure not to complain” about sexual harassment or assault in the military, says Clark University professor Cynthia Enloe, author of Does Khaki Become You? “There is intense pressure to prove you’re part of the team.”
I don't think that's it at all. Yes, some people don't want to rock the boat and be the uncool person who doesn't want porn playing in a common area or listen to icky jokes, but I think most incidents don't get reported because of what happens afterwards.
She says there were 2374 military rapes and attempted rapes reported last year but only 79 sexual assault courts martial. Why report it if all you'll get is your OWN career ruined and endless behind-the-scenes torment, jokes, and snide comments? It's like the milder cousin of Saudi Arabia's policy of punishing rape victims for adultery.
I've mentioned this before but when men hear about women getting assaulted or raped, often they simply do not comprehend the serious nature of the crime, if they consider it a crime at all. They hear "rape" and think "sex" and then wonder, "Well who wouldn't want sex?"
They make comments like, "Man I'd love it if some women threw me down and raped me!" They joke about how awesome it is to have people hitting on you or making propositions. (Unless of course, it's an ugly fat girl or gay guy)
Since rape doesn't always leave obvious clues, they think women are making it up for their own nefarious agenda. They think women only cry rape when they wake up and decide they wished they hadn't slept with the guy.
They think women do things to cause rape even though the only thing that causes rape is the presence of a rapist.
This isn't about rocking the boat and screwing up the team spirit.
It's about saving your ass from more suffering and humiliation.
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8 comments:
You should make the 'i want rape' people watch the jail bathroom scene from American History X.
Props for using nefarious.
It's creepy knowing there are people out there who can't distinguish fun sex and rape.
It's kinda creepy knowing that my girlfriend is going into the marines and the dudes there havent learned self control yet.
Sad that a woman has to choice between her career and telling the truth....
Having worked in a non-traditional job I can relate to pretty well everything you are saying.
A woman isn't paranoid to walk in a place she doesn't know to go to the bathroom/shower past tents and tents of men. What is stopping the men from doing something to a vulnerable woman in this position? Nothing - except their individual decency - if they have it. Many do but sadly there are the few who don't.
Great blog, thanks for sharing and we Canadians so appreciate everything our American cousins do for us.
Sometimes, women in the Military do stupid crap like cry rape when it wasn't the case. It is women like this that does the injustice to other women who have been actually assaulted.
Question is, how do we distinguish between who's crying wolf and who's not.
Just my two abes...
A.C.
Rape is a tough subject, especially when a case comes down to 'His/her word against his/hers', but the caveman outlook of some men don't help things one tiny bit.
This is just absolutely and completely BS. Is there anything civ's can do to help this issue? Feel free to email me, I'd like to help and link back.
Its sad that females in the military have to face situations like that but I agree Akinoluna. If I were a female and felt afraid to go to the showers I would bring my weapon and if any guy tries anything I would aim my weapon at his jewels and warn him, if he kept on threatening your safety shoot the fucker its self defense.
If you are on patrol and a vehicle get dangerously close you shoot a few rounds to warn him to stay back, if he still get close enough that you feel its a threat you shoot.
Same applies with female soldiers if you feel a threat you warn if the idiot doesn't stop you shoot. The first question asked a the court-marshall will be what the hell was he doing lurking around you doing in the women's shower!!!!!!
I have shared quarters with female soldiers an all the one's I have met would have no problem kicking my ass if I did anything dishonorable. We all took an oath!!!!!
Unfortunately, you don't have to go overseas to not feel safe among your fellow military personnel. My father was a Marine, (and yes, I am aware of the phrase "once a Marine, always a Marine." Unfortunately, my father passed away the day before Thanksgiving this past November. I am still learning not to talk about him in the present tense. Then again, my Mother and brother are currently at Quantico at his Marine Corp reunion, the 10th Amphibian Tractor Battalion. My Father served in the Marshalls and Guam in WWII.) My daughter chose to be a combat field medic in the Army, currently stationed in El Paso, and I hear it is a post that is extremely dangerous for women. It has the highest rape rate of any post in the country and she can't wait to get out of there and back to Germany in November. She had to move off post so that she and her baby could feel safe while her husband is deployed to Korea. Things don't seem to have changed from when I was in the Navy almost 30 years ago. That is very sad!
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